


Bluff In The Buff

by herrDoktorat



Category: Final Fantasy IV, Final Fantasy IV: The After Years
Genre: Character Analysis, Drabble, Frog Voyeurism, Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:35:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24357409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herrDoktorat/pseuds/herrDoktorat
Summary: Palom takes a much needed bath after his month long voyage to Troia.
Kudos: 1





	Bluff In The Buff

Palom quietly set his jewelry down on top of his clothes and stepped into the spring waters that flowed around Troia Castle. The water was cold, but he didn't care. Porom would have you believe it was thanks to their grueling training under the waterfalls of Mount Ordeals or what have you, but the truth was much simpler: he was filthy.

Leonora and the Epopts had been kind not to mention it, but after an entire month stuck inside some dingy ship with only salt water and prayers for hygiene, Palom would have jumped into lava if it meant washing the grunge off of him. Maybe the reason the Elder had sent him and not Porom on this mission was because she'd never have survived the trip. The thought made him chuckle, and yet... why _had_ the Elder sent him? Did he know somehow that the Epopts wanted to learn Black Magic?

Palom sighed. "No sense thinking about it now," he muttered to himself, letting his body sink in the crystalline waters. Not long afterwards, an attendant stopped by to pick up his clothes. Palom barely paid her any mind. 

Ugh, so many frogs. Half of them were probably men hoping to get a peek at the famous Troian soldiers, as though there weren't two guarding the castle gates at all times. They were probably getting more of an eyeful now than ever before. It was just too bad he didn't know Esuna.

Troia was a kingdom ruled by women, and so the news that Palom would be traveling there had been met with equal parts jealousy and excitement by most of the men (and some of the women) in Mysidia, not that he cared about any of it. Maybe as a dumb kid he might have been over the moon about the opportunity to travel to a kingdom full of beauties, but now, well, it just seemed unimportant.

Palom watched as the setting sun colored the waters a pleasant shade of orange, feeling more relaxed than he had been in a long time, even before the voyage. The attendant from before had returned with an oversized dress shirt that could be loosely considering a change of clothes, and he was feeling charitable enough not to complain to her about it. There probably weren't many clothes that would fit him in the castle. For a moment, he pictured himself in the skimpy uniform worn by troian soldiers, and wryly decided that that sort of thing was best left to his sister. Either way, he wasn't going to leave the water just yet. He'd just finished washing himself, so now, he wanted to take some time and rest. 

Still, his mind wandered. This business with the Epopts was funny. Before meeting with them, Palom had watched some of their trainees doing an exercise, meditation training in cold water. One of them gave up after thirty seconds. The water wasn't even that cold. No wonder they thought _Leonora_ had talent.

On the other hand, that tower... it was the real deal. Troia couldn't have built that in a day. The Epopts acted surprised when he said he didn't know anything about White Magic, they tried to sell him a story about Baron coming for the Crystals, but that just couldn't be true. 

Troia was afraid.

The Earth Crystal had been stolen once, sure. The Epopts had every right to want the power to protect it. Palom just wasn't sure it was worth compromising their entire way of life.

In striving for peace, the Epopts of Troia had unlocked secrets of White Magic that no other nation was privy to nor capable of. True, they had to be trained by Mysidians like himself and his sister, but their connection to their Crystal was unmatched, and when all eight of them worked together, they could command miracles. The scale of their magic, capable of healing an entire nation, applied to a tornado, or even the forbidden spell, Meteor... surely it would cost them something in the end.

Argh, he was starting to sound like the Elder. Frustrated, he rubbed his fingers together until electricity crackled between them. Black Magic was dangerous. It took him a long time to understand that. In ancient times, Mysidia had nearly been wiped from the map due to misuse of magic, which led to their founder, the great sage Minwu, sealing all magic inside what would one day come to be known as Mount Ordeals. The records said that only Minwu's voice from the heavens had restored it centuries later, but after visiting the moon with Cecil and the others, Palom had a different theory: the Lunarians had to be the ones responsible for the resurgence of magic. Cecil's own father had supposedly resided in Mysidia at some point, and the Lunar Whale was sealed nearby as well. The very way they used magic now was—

Palom clicked his tongue. His thoughts were getting away from him, and he didn't like it. On a whim, he zapped the spring waters with the electricity he had been building up, hoping the jolt would be enough to force him to focus. Instead it only served to terrify the frogs. 

"Heh, serves them right," he said with a half smile, watching them all jump away in a panic. One of them seemed to be trying to walk on two legs, with limited success. There, he'd done his good deed for the day. Troia was safe from at least one perverted frog. Why the Epopts didn't just mass cast Esuna every now and then, he'd never know... or maybe they were the ones who didn't know how bad men could be? Palom sure wasn't gonna be the one to bring it up, though it would probably make for lovely conversation. Maybe that was another consequence of not knowing Black Magic? Hell, in Mysidia, turning into a frog was a tried and true way to prank the instructors, since Toad was one of the first spells you learned. Troia not being exposed to that maybe meant the Epopts didn't even consider the possibility that someone would use magic for something so petty. Though, he'd only been in Troia for a day, so what did he know?

The different cultures surrounding magic weren't something he'd ever thought about before, but in that moment Palom couldn't help but wonder if the Epopt trainees ever played pranks on each other. Pff, they were probably too boring for that. 

Though...

An old memory surfaced. When they were children, Porom was a little stronger than him—she'd smack him on the head and drag him back to training whenever he was playing hooky, no problem—but as they grew up, things started to change. Palom was eight when he first managed to escape his sister's death grip. He remembered sticking out his tongue and then making a break for the woods around Mysidia as a victory fanfare played in his head. Palom was only just starting to realize he wasn't making nearly as much ground as he thought he should when Porom walked out from behind a tree ahead of him with an unusually mischievous smile on her face, twirling her staff like a baton; he'd been had. 

_'No fair!'_ he remembered shouting, or trying too, as his body just didn't seem to be keeping up with his thoughts. Porom had cast Slow on him. On her own brother, her flesh and blood! He’d never been so proud.

In the present, Palom caught himself smiling... and then he remembered how the rest of the conversation went.

Porom's smile turned into a frown and she said, in that dumb voice she did whenever she tried to mother him, she said, _'Palom, really! How long are you going to keep this up? The Elder is really angry! I thought you wanted to become a great sage like Tellah. Everyone loves me so much because I do everything they want and never anything I want, because I have a responsibility to Mysidia and its people blabbity blah blah blah.'_

Okay, so maybe she didn't say all that, but she said most of it, and she said it more than once. Every memory he had with her had one of those lectures in it somewhere, and he was sick of it. 

That smile she had on when she caught him, he just... he wished he could have seen that more often.

Still, if even his stuck up sister could smile like that after getting him with a Slow spell, then surely those boring trainees could cook up something too, right?

...Yeah, somehow he doubted it.

Though the business with the Epopts still gnawed at him, Palom was able to relax and enjoy the waters for a little while until the sun finally disappeared behind the trees. After drying off and putting on the ugly oversized dress shirt they'd so kindly provided, Palom headed back to his room, _to the infirmary,_ ready to turn in for the night.

"L-Lord Palom!"

Palom had only known her for a day, but he'd recognize that stuttering anywhere. Coming down the stairs was none other than Troia's newest Epopt, Leonora. Funnily enough, they were dressed the same, though the shirt was much more flattering on her.

"I thought I told you to drop the ‘lord’ stuff," he said lazily.

"Y-Yes! I mean, wh-what are you doing here?" Leonora asked, her voice getting higher and higher with each word.

"What does it look like? Coming back from a much needed bath," he replied, putting his hands behind his head for good measure.

"Th-This place is off limits to men!"

" _The whole castle_ is off limits to men," he complained. "Give me a break. I talked to a guard and she said it was ok."

Leonora's demeanor immediately shifted.

"Oh," she said.

"What?"

"Wh-What?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?" he asked.

"I, um..." Leonora blushed, then giggled. It was a somewhat puzzling sight. "I just thought you'd have gone in there without asking anyone first."

Palom crossed his arms and glared at her. "Do you seriously think I would do that?"

"Um... yes."

To his credit, Palom held the expression for a good ten seconds before snorting with laughter. "Ok, so maybe I would," he said, trying not to laugh too much. Leonora smiled at him and started laughing herself though, so it was tough.

"I'm sorry. I should have realized you'd want a bath. It was quite a long voyage to get here, wasn't it?"

 _That isn't the half of it,_ he remembered telling the Epopts. "Eh, don't worry about it. Maybe we should both actually go to bed now though, don't you think?"

"Yes, we should," she said, and she sounded so happy too... Palom couldn't understand why, so he just ignored it.

"Well, good night, Leonora," he said.

"Good night, Palom."

Leonora bowed her head to him politely and continued on her way to do whatever it was she needed to do so late at night, but before she could disappear into the corridor, Palom remembered something.

"Hey, Leonora?"

"Y-Yes?"

"Did you ever play a prank on someone during your training?"

**Author's Note:**

> This was intended to be a cute fluffy piece and instead it turned into a deeply introspective character analysis. Palom has a lot on his mind, I guess!


End file.
